Monday, October 11, 2004

In the true spirit of the game

Folks -
There comes a time in every president's term in office when he's gotta make some hard decisions. Bud or Bud Light? Jager bomb or Mind Eraser? Blonde or Brunette? Well, have faith that your sage and salacious Prez is always looking out for your, and therefore, his, best interests.

That said, I was handed a kickball issue/opportunity (or as I like to call it - an "opportissue") recently, that has had me mulling the best course of action that best looks out for you lovely, lovely people. That issue is an upcoming tournament that WAKA has asked us to host here in Charleston! How cool is that?!?

Well, after thinking about it for awhile, I asked the Board to help me (by the way - the next time you see a board member, say 'thanks' or give 'em a hug, or kiss me - I mean, them, on the cheek - the parties, the fields, the lights, the equipment, the scheduling doesn't just take care of themselves), and then we asked team captains (another tough job that's worth a firm handshake and a noogie) from across the league to weigh in on the matter.

But then, I remembered something. It's just kickball, people. We're playing kickball here. This ain't the pennant race, no one's getting points docked for cussing, and none of us is getting paid to play. It's a social activity (not gonna even kid myself calling it a sport) that brings us fun loving, beer swilling, arrested development suffering, crazy kooky people together week after week. Hell - I think y'all are so fun that I come out Wednesdays AND Thursdays to the fields just to see your shiny happy asses out there.

Ok - enough of the build up. What do all of these strange words from an ever stranger man mean? Here's the deal:

On November 6 th , we will be hosting a President's Cup Regional Tournament! Because there are now numerous WAKA divisions around the country, WAKA is having regional rounds of the President's Cup on November 6, 2004 prior to the final games played up in Washington, DC on November 20, 2004. We'll be sending Hood Rich (last season's champs), and, (here's where all the thinking and calling and deciding lead to) the team that is ranked #1 on 10/24. In the event that there is more than one undefeated team, Kickball Kelly has a "Difficulty of Schedule" calculator that she will use to determine the #1 team. She also has a really cool protractor and T-square.

The other option was to cram the remaining three weeks of k-ball (plus the Wednesday make-up games) and season playoffs into the next two weeks. That meant playing on Wednesdays and Thursdays at 6:30. 7:15, and 8PM, a make up day next Tuesday (for the missed Wednesday games) and an all-day Saturday playoff to determine the champ. Kelly and I drew up the schedule and presented that option to the board and the captains. The count was literally split down the middle.

So, because it's even-steven, we're going to proceed with the regular season and playoffs as scheduled. I understand both sides of the deal, here. I know it might've been tough for folks to schedule their days around a bunch of kickball stuff. I also know that it's a shame we can't send our "real" divisional champion to the tournament. But, remember folks? It's Just Kickball. For the half of the league I just pissed off by letting you know what the decision is, say this with me - "It's just kickball. Once a week, I get together with my friends, and kick a big red rubber bouncy ball, run the bases, and when i'm in the field and the ball comes my way, I hope like hell that I catch it. Then, I go to Dengates, drink beer from small plastic cups and flip them over."

Kind of puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

So, for my "just get to the point" peeps out there, I apologize for not doing this sooner, but here it is:

  1. There's a WAKA tournament on 11/6
  2. Our schedule will not be affected.
  3. Hood Rich and the team that's #1 on 10/24 will play in the tourney.
  4. Lots of thought went into this decision.
  5. I think you guys and gals are super nice.
  6. We will still have playoffs and a division tournament. NOTHING IS CHANGING.

If you've got questions about all this stuff, feel free to call or email me. I'll be glad to discuss it with you. And sugar, if you're reading this, we can talk about this over dinner and movie. We'll drink too much red wine and speak in haikus and/or iambic pentameter.

Now, the Ghost Man is right behind me, itching to send out the latest WAKA scoop and pics on the party, the fields, and the bars.

Thanks for being the cool big kids that you are. Remember - it's kickball, people.

And I love it. -Jay


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